Ahuv Sheli

Saturday felt like a day of rest, but it wasn’t. My schedule was full from the moment I woke up... early morning at the grocery, then a rushed check-up because the doctor had to leave for a conference, thoughts of finishing layouts, preparing for a meeting… and through it all, I barely had a moment to breathe🥴. In the busyness, I realized how easily life pulls me away from stillness... from God’s presence. Even in tasks that seem ordinary, I forget to pause, to center my heart, to offer each moment to Him. Lord, teach me to find You in the rush, to breathe Your peace into my hurried days. Let me not only act, but act with Your love and patience. May even my busiest hours become prayers, my small duties offerings and my restless heart a space where Your presence dwells. Help me to stop, even for a moment and remember that You are with me in everything. Amen.

Lately, I’ve been having strange episodes... moments when, in the middle of waking hours, everything fades. I close my eyes and for a few seconds or minutes, I drift away, unaware of what’s around me. Sometimes, even while celebrating Mass... what if I collapse while standing before the altar? I’ve been taking medicine for the shooting pain that runs down my left arm. A month has passed, yet the uncertainty remains. No clear diagnosis, only a silent suspicion of what my body is going through. Age seems to whisper its reminders of wear, of weakness, of slowing down. And yet, as I walk this road to fifty reflections, gratitude blooms stronger each day I wake. Life, in its fragile beauty, is still a gift ~ one more sunrise, one more chance to love, to care, to serve. I still rush, I still worry... for the people and pets entrusted to me... but I am learning to place everything, trembling and uncertain, into the hands of God. For when my strength falters, His grace holds me steady. When m...

Whenever we celebrate the Feast of St. Margaret Mary Alacoque, I am reminded of God’s unfathomable love and mercy poured out through the Sacred Heart of Jesus. I think of St. Claude de la Colombière, her spiritual director, who helped her recognize how deeply Jesus longs for every heart to return to Him. With her feast, I am also encouraged to receive the Sacrament of Penance... that sacred encounter where Jesus not only forgives but chooses to forget our sins. This day is special to me for another reason: my niece was born on this feast day and received her second name from me ~ Margaret ~ in honor of this saint. Each year, her birthday reminds me that God’s mercy continues to flow from generation to generation. May she be blessed with an abundance of love, mercy and a deep devotion to the Heart of Jesus. Lord Jesus, make my heart like Yours... humble, forgiving, and full of mercy. Teach me to love as You love, to forgive as You forgive and to trust completely in Your Sacred Heart. Ma...

Tradition vs. Innovation I was reflecting on how the founders of many institutions and congregations began their missions. They started with a simple vision, set down clear and humble rules and gathered followers who shared their zeal. Over time, as these communities grew, the followers became more learned and began revising the rules to adapt to new needs and circumstances. Yet in the process of reform, the original purpose... the heart of the founder’s call... often became blurred. In some cases, even the founders themselves were misunderstood or set aside for being “too rigid,” when all they desired was to remain faithful to the spirit that first inspired their mission. I wonder if something similar is happening today. In our efforts to respond to the demands of the present generation, have we drifted from the simplicity and purity of the principles that once guided us? We often emphasize that “this generation is different,” that times have changed, and that we must evolve to keep u...

From Counting Losses to Counting Blessings Before I began my Road to Fifty Reflections... my personal journey of 365 reflections, I reread the very first entry I wrote on my blog more than a decade ago. I smiled at how I used to write so smoothly, but my heart felt the weight of those words. Beneath the eloquence were traces of resentment and pain. I remember how I avoided people, dodging every invitation that might make me confront the wounds I refused to heal. It wasn’t until 2019, after a life-changing encounter with the Lord in Jerusalem, that I finally laid down the burden I had been carrying for years. For the longest time, I measured my life by what I had lost --- the failures, the heartbreaks, the moments I fell apart. I rose and fell again, over and over, until I reached a point when life itself felt too heavy to bear. But the Lord... patient, merciful and faithful... never gave up on me. He gave me chance after chance, gently leading me back to life, one step, one grace at a...

I was hesitant to go Mass. I woke up weary, overwhelmed by work and a little discouraged. My niece’s comment about people who go to Mass daily but remain unkind echoed in my head, along with posts I’d read about how non-Catholics seem to live better than Catholics. I knew these were excuses... but still, I felt unworthy. Yet, in the midst of that hesitation, something in me longed to be near Jesus. To be present before Him, even in my sinfulness. So I went to Mass at night. The brothers were there. I’ve been praying for them, but in that moment, I felt their prayers embracing me too. It was as if the Lord was saying, “You are not alone.” Fr. Besa’s homily struck me deeply. He spoke of silence after the festivities --- after the grand celebration of Our Lady of La Naval, the novena Masses, the procession, the joy and noise --- comes the stillness. The quiet. The return to ordinary life. And yet, he said, it is in that silence that Our Lady touches our hearts. It is there, in the simple ...